Clash of the Titans

This latest adaptation from the stories of Greek mythology is itself a remake of a 1981 film with the same name. It has a lot of notable faces of acting talent on the cast list also, but somehow, somewhere it just all goes wrong.
Sam Worthington finds himself playing our main hero Perseus, son of Zeus. After playing half man/half machine and half man/half big blue avatar, he gets to sink his teeth into the role of half man/half god! So surely he would have the half man part down. Sadly the script seems to have given poor Sam only half his lines. Through a rapid-fire intro we find Perseus a grown man who has watched his family die, then after some pretty random events he is thrust by the royalty of the doomed city of Argos into their man/god saviour, very few questions asked. Not that this is Sam or anyone else’s fault, some scenes cry out for one or two more lines of dialogue to clarify things or expand on a character, but nothing, silence, lots of missed opportunities.
Even though the story doesn’t stick rigidly to the myth it is based on, surely all can be forgiven when we get to the big budget action scenes? “Unleash the Kraken”, you find yourself hoping beyond hope that this battle will somehow justify your ticket price, but sadly it’s not to be, you spend ten minutes waiting for this creature to raise himself up from the sea and then he’s dead. That’s as good as it gets though, there is a skirmish with giant scorpions in the desert but these look like scenes that were cut from the first Transformers movie.

3D or not 3D? If you wish to pay extra and watch this film in 3D you might think that your 3D glasses must be broken. Things that you expect to jump out in 3D at you don’t. It’s very poor next to Avatar. The film was not shot in 3D but they went back and made it 3D afterwards, you wonder why they bothered really. Liam Neesons beard and shiny silver armour don’t look any better in 3D.
So in summing up I guess all that is left is to grade this movie. Now I know most people go for a straight forward 5 Star rating system, it’s easier on the DVD box makers. But I want to do something different, maybe involving a multi-snaked Medusa head showing how much you should not look at this movie. Screw it, (any ideas?) I’ll come up with something another time; just don’t go watch this movie.